My Strengths
My Struggles to Identify and to Actually Use Them
I’m not sure if I’m the only one who struggles with this: identifying what my strengths are.
This isn’t some feel good “look how great I am”, but an actual weakness when it comes to personal development.
Since I find blind belief in myself difficult, I rarely have a base of confidence to work from when pursuing new goals. Being unable to identify strengths means not having evidence of present ability.
Currently, I am in a pre-founder phase where I know I want to be a founder, but I don’t know what I’m doing.
Naturally, talking to established founders is a good way to get context.
However, whenever I reach out or speak to established founders and ask about their experiences, I feel like a fraud.
What gives me the audacity to believe I (normal-ol’ me!) can do something remotely close to what they’re doing right now? It feels like I have no strengths that would help me bridge this gap.
One reason it’s so hard for me to identify my strengths is the instinctive comparison I make with others.
Being upwards aiming, I only really compare myself to people who exemplify in the qualities I lack and aspire to have. My weaknesses are pulled into sharp contrast.
The flip side is that I never benchmark myself to some model of the “normal” person, fearing these comparisons as a source of arrogance, excess pride, and comfort.
And even if these fears are overblown, why should I ever care how these people live if their actions and perspectives have no influence to how I experience my own life?
So, as I go about my typical day, only my weaknesses linger in the back of my mind— everything else about my life is completely “normal.”
Like a fish unable to see water nor realize it’s unique ability to breathe underwater, I am blind towards my life circumstances and the strengths present in the habits and behaviors I naturally do.
Only recently did I internalize my strengths of not needing variety in meals; I still enjoy the same salted chicken breast, boiled frozen veggie, and white rice dish whenever I cook for myself.
As such, hitting daily protein targets and eating clean is natural for me, whereas the vast majority who desire variety, more ingredients, and rich flavors struggle much more.
Admitting weaknesses certainly demands honesty and vulnerability. When starting something new—where self-doubt and insecurity are abundant—these same qualities are just as essential for identifying strengths.
But identifying them is only half the battle.
Courage is needed to accept that the strengths are genuinely real and discipline is needed to avoid overexaggerating their impact.