On Life's Hedonic Treadmill
A revisit to an essay written 3 years ago
As the year draws to a close and I am in the stages of reflection on the previous year and the milestone I want to reach in the next, I would like to chronicle an essay I had written 3 years ago in early 2021 about the hedonic treadmill, which I, to this day, still enjoy revisiting when I look ahead for goal setting. Being written by someone more immature and less experienced than who I am today, the essay may feel as if it was written in absolutes and embodies a subtle flare of arrogance, which were factors I consciously chose not to edit out for the preservation of my own genuine thoughts as a student still in the midst university figuring out his own direction in life. As such, this essay may occasionally come across as misguided or written in absolutes and should not be taken as a definite argument for how life should be- the perpetual chase of goals and meaning- but as an elaboration of one view for how life can be lived (in the eyes of a green 21 year old may I add). While this is a longer piece, I hope you, the reader, may find something worthwhile to elaborate on or antagonize against in your own considerations for goal setting in 2024. Perhaps there is nothing worthwhile in this read, but there is a new interesting way of thinking. Regardless of the individualized takeaways, this is an essay I am still immensely proud about writing, due its clear and accurate depiction of what I thought at the time and its framework in informing my current perspectives.
The essay itself begins with a response to a question I often heard being asked in a cynical and pessimistic tone: “what’s the point?” It then delves into a flawed measure of the pursuits during the hedonic treadmill and a reframing of what is deemed valuable in such pursuit.
I do apologize that this is a longer piece, but one I am nonetheless proud of publishing to the very small corner of the internet where I selfishly chronicle the evolution of my thoughts. Thank you for reading and happy holidays to you and your loved ones.
Life’s Hedonic Treadmill
Many things have suddenly changed for me personally in the past month. I reneged a company many dream about joining (Amazon), ended a podcast project, joined a scrappy startup as a technical lead, and somehow find myself living in Midtown Manhattan. Despite the busy nature of my schedule I always found myself thinking and talking- thinking during those nights when I can’t sleep and talking during those nights surrounded by others.
One topic that frequently arose from talking occasions was the hedonic treadmill- the tendency that people’s levels of happiness quickly normalize to a steady state after significant positive or negative events. In the setting of my current life (21 year old engineering student), the hedonic treadmill mainly applies in the form of accomplishment, where accomplishment is often associated as things that look spectacular on a resume and elevate “status”: an offer to a prestigious company, a high gpa, a paper being published. Given that happiness normalizes after such achievements, kids like myself continuously chase the next thing up, resulting in a feedback loop of chase and achieve, never really feeling a whole sense of steady happiness.
I gather that the thoughts of the hedonic treadmill are mixed, its most popular criticism coming in the form of “when does it end?” and “what’s the point?”
My reply to such questions is straightforward: it doesn’t end. It shouldn’t end. And there is always a point.
Now my reasoning is much more long winded- something I cannot verbally explain off the cuff without sounding like a crackhead and staring off into the distance to gather my thoughts.
It is known that the significantly larger volume of the human’s brain is a main contributor in separating us from our competitors across the animal kingdom millions of years ago. This biological advantage allowed our early ancestors to adapt tools, organize societies, and curate art. Personally, I believe this advantage also brought us something else: the capacity for imagination.
Imagination is what pushes the human procession forward- from small hunter and gatherer tribes to large spanning countries of people, from stone hammers for cracking coconuts to nuclear weapons capable of erasing cities, and from walking on grass fields to flying through space. Without imagination, humans would not have flourished; we would be unable to consider ways to improve the quality of life if it was not tangibly observable.
The micro view of our individual lives run parallel to the macro view of the human procession. In fact, the summation of all the micro views we have on our own individual lives form the forefront of the greater human procession. Our combined efforts push the march of the human procession, even if our combined efforts are inherently selfish and self centred. Whether the human procession is walking towards the right direction is entirely up for debate and a different topic all together- what I believe is that our individual imagination challenges us individually, which, across people, moves our civilization. Our civilization is not stagnant and should not be stagnant, and, as a result, so shouldn’t our individual lives.
Now depending on your perspective on life, this reasoning may not appeal to you. “If I am going to die, why does the movement of human procession matter? I am nothing but a particle in this greater wave- why should I care?” Of course, you don’t need to care. This is simply how I view my individual life. I want to contribute to the human procession.
However, I do know something that you do care about: your own life. If that is not appealing, you probably wouldn’t be reading this right now. No matter how wildly different people’s individual lives are, there is a common desire that many voice: happiness. More happiness results in a better life. This results in many to look for the “optimization” of happiness in the function of their lives.
I personally disagree with this thought. I believe that life should not be lived with happiness as the primary focus, but with meaning as the primary focus instead. This follows closely with Logotherapy, a school of thought devised by psychiatrist Viktor Frankl and described in his book Man’s Search for Meaning. In the pursuit of meaning derived from 3 avenues (finding meaning in passion, loved ones, and living with inescapable suffering), happiness ensues automatically and, as a result, happiness is not directly pursued.
In the context of meaning, the question of “when does it end?” becomes much different, since it questions if “greater” things should be done given the normalization of happiness soon-after, not the normalization of meaning.
But then, does meaning ever automatically normalized in the way happiness seems to normalize? I would argue no. I believe meaning does not normalize; however, it may at times feel that way since we are always subconsciously looking for more meaning.
Through life, I believe one inherently searches and gathers meaning- whatever that meaning may be. Whether it be through opening a restaurant, caring for unexpected children, or continuing a battle with cancer, meaning continually grows in our lives until our appointment with death, when we are forced to look back at the compilation of stories we have written. Do we like the stories we have written? Do we have any regrets? Those are questions we strive to respectively maximize and minimize while we are still alive.
If at any extended moment we refuse to build meaning in our lives, neuroticism often ensues. Now, I am no psychologist nor do I assert that I know anything in the world of psychology, so do take my thoughts with a grain of salt. Based on past experiences of observing those around me, it seems it is the people who question “what is the point of everything?” when facing significant challenges that fall into a state of negative indifference. They become life’s punching bag and put up minimal resistance when further challenges ensue. Their will to live suffers, adversely impacting their health, social circles, and potential.
Meaning in life is the reason why we should keep going and why there is a “point.” Whether we have already found meaning in our lives and are working on maximizing it or if we are still looking, there will always be more fulfillment to be achieved.
“Vanity Metrics” and “Achievements”
I would like to now shift my focus on what I believe are misconception in the conversation of the Hedonic Treadmill. The first misconception is measuring life based on vanity metrics. The second is meaning behind process not achievement.
Vanity Metrics
In the past semester, I read a really meaningful book. No, it was not a book about meaning; it was a book about startups. Titled the Lean Startup, the book covers a different approach to startup methodology, one that focuses on quick iterations from ideation, testing, feedback, and implementation to drive product development in finding product market fit.
There is one chapter that stood out the most to me- the concept of vanity metrics. In essence, vanity metrics are numbers that are sexy, but misrepresent the bigger picture. In the startup world, vanity metrics are metrics such as total number of users or revenue per quarter- cool numbers to impress investors and the general public, but do not really give accurate insights. In life, vanity metrics also exist: money, job positions, and penis size. These are things that impress people, but are very misrepresentative in nature. Just look at how celebrities are perceived versus their actual selves.
It happens that these metrics do not only misdirect others, but also misdirect ourselves. It would be a lie for anyone to assert that they have not anchored their life on wanting more money and more status at some point in their lives. In the early 20s, few have grown out of this method of thinking.
When we are on our death beds, it has been shown that we do not think about those vanity metrics that society has put so much misguided emphasis on. Instead, we think about the things that gave our life meaning: passions, loved ones, and battles against inevitable suffering. And despite this, even those who understand the emptiness behind those vanity metrics may still fall into these traps.
To show you what I mean, think about the frame in which the questions critiquing the Hedonic Treadmill were posed. “When does it end? Whats the point?” Let me ask you- would those questions be asked if vanity metrics were not the center of thought, but instead metrics measuring things that actually matter? If the things being measured truly mattered, would anyone wish for them to end? There most certainly is a “point” to things that matter, because a very blatant contradiction would ensue otherwise.
As such, I believe that the Hedonic Treadmill question is fundamentally misguided. It should be framed around things we actually care about versus vanity metrics- things that society project. If the Hedonic Treadmill is framed around meaning or things that actually mattered, people would gladly strive for greater things. Sure, happiness may normalize, but meaning will not.
It is important to mention the difficulties in realizing the folly of vanity metrics. I believe this is due to two reasons: the pressures of society and their concreteness.
Ever since a young age, we are often fed certain narratives, such as "you should make good money” or “you should be a doctor”. These narratives shape our minds to prioritize these things. A prominent example currently is the euphoria in the stock market and the prospect of “making it big”. Personally having the privilege of interning at some of the most renowned software companies in the world and having significant income for my age, I am still lost in terms of meaning and envy those who have found what gives their lives meaning.
The concreteness of vanity metrics also push these metrics to be deceptively attractive. Vanity metrics are easy to measure; they appear as numbers in your bank account or the company names on your resume. They are easily observable and are readily available for you to see at a click of a button. True metrics- ones that are actually important to you- are less obvious. These metrics are not necessarily quantifiable, being often inherently qualitative. Let me give you an example.
Currently, in my life, what matters most to me is finding what I love. Despite my income and the names on my resume, I want to find what I am truly passionate about- the things that I can be obsessed with all day and all night without feeling tired. The things that will make my work-life balance innately non-existent since my passion ceases to be “work”. To measure this goal, metrics are not quantifiable nor clear cut. They are ambiguous. I have to go out and try different things, move to different areas, meet new people, and store new memories, all the while internally weighing if my life is meaningful at a particular moment. Will I want to keep doing what I am doing, knowing full well situations can drastically change? Will I ever get tired and fall out of love with what I currently find interesting? These questions are difficult to answer, require significant time and reflection to evaluate, and are not definitively constant.
Achievement
The second misconception when it comes to the Hedonic Treadmill is assuming that happiness should mainly ensue from events, most notably achievements, which are most relevant to my current life. I have already stated that I believe happiness ensues from meaning, so I will focus my discussion on meaning mainly arising from events- achievements specifically. With this in mind, I insist that meaning (nor happiness in that matter) should not primarily derive from achievement, but instead should derive primarily from the process to obtain achievement. This is due to character and luck.
Character
It is said that it takes an average of 66 days to build a habit, an automatic action that takes no second thought to perform. This habit can be as simple as folding your bed after you wake up, moderately difficult as driving a car, or as painful as waking up early in the morning. But, no matter how small this habit is, it will take 66 days to repeatedly do over and over again. Practise make permanence and habits are no different.
Along the same vein as habits are qualities and behaviour. Numerous desirable characteristics and life lessons, such as resiliency, optimism, and work ethic fall into this category. When in the process of chasing after a goal, these traits and lessons are continually being ingrained through unknown variables, unpredictable timelines, and obstacles. I believe that it is these habits, characteristics, and lessons that offer more deeper meaning than achievements.
One area that I draw a significant amount of value from is from fitness. When the Coronavirus first hit, fitness for me was put on hold- I could no longer train powerlifting and bodybuilding movements since the gyms were all closed. That meant no deadlifts, no squats, and no benchpress. If the meaning I get from fitness came from the results in the gym, that would mean fitness is no longer of value to me; I could no longer extract any meaning since I cannot increase my lifting numbers anymore. But it is the process of fitness I found meaning in. I love how I obsess, commit, and sacrifice for fitness. I love how broken my body would feel. I love to test if my mind would break on workouts. I love the process.
And this translates quickly. Because I love the process in fitness, I converted all my fitness from powerlifting and bodybuilding to CrossFit, which can be performed outside without equipment, during Covid. It is then I saw my mind and body tested further: 325 burpees in 30 minutes, Murph (100 pull-ups, 200 pushups, 300 squats sandwiched my 1 miles run all with a 15 lb weight vest), 1000 repetition workouts, 15km rest day walks…
For an observer, it may look like that I set a new goal and was working towards that goal- a certain body weight, fat percentage, or max rep count. The truth was: I didn’t. I found meaning in the process of iteratively tearing myself apart and callousing in response. The meaning synthesized from the process is deeper from those of achievement. Meaning from the process is mainly self driven, privately intrinsic, and extremely difficult to give up.
Luck
The meaning rendered from achievement is made more hollow when considering luck. Having achieved what many of my colleagues would kill for in my field as a software student, I can say with confidence that the results of work is more often than not, the consequence of luck. Yes, there is a pre-requisite of some level of skill; however, that level of skill is far less than people believe. I’ll give you an example from sophomore year.
In sophomore year of university, it is notoriously difficult to get a software internship position. Though a bit easier than freshman year, the stakes are significantly higher. Since my university program is 5 years in length, there are effectively 2 more summer internship opportunities after the upcoming summer following sophomore year. It is important that, as a sophomore, to obtain relevant software experience as a precursor for the all too crucial 3rd and 4th years of university, when all the “major” internship experiences can be realistically landed.
During sophomore year, I did everything right on paper. Since the beginning of the academic year in September, I obtained references for FAANG companies, kept my GPA healthy, vetted my Resume, expanded my extracurriculars to include leadership roles and technical projects, while consistently applying to companies everyday. By the beginning of April, I applied to 100+ companies and had no offer; I only received about 5 interviews in total.
Then there was an acquittance of mine, who only started applying to postings in February and was also in sophomore year. Having reviewed her resume, I knew she did not have any leadership experiences nor technical experiences outside coursework. She did not know how to answer “tell me about yourself” nor knew what a technical interview was at all. Long story short- she applied to 2 posting in total and received an interview with her first application. She passed the interview and received an offer shortly after.
Was I bitter at the time? Absolutely. Was I foolish at the time? Absolutely. I failed to realize that it wasn’t just me who was struggling and her that was succeeding. There were thousands of students in sophomore year who was in the same boat as I was and there were very few who were as fortunate as her.
Does that make those few who have not received offers any less than those who have? No. Does that make those who have received offers any better than those who have not? No. In many ways, it was by luck that those individuals received offers that year. And I understand it was luck, because I too experience the same luck two months after at the very end of April when I myself received an offer to a well known company.
Even recruiting for this year during the pandemic year, when opportunities were limited, makes me continually think about the prospect of luck. Being in my 4th year (1 year until graduation), I received 6 offers for summer, all from well known companies or prolific startups. After reading forums and talking to others, I see that many are struggling to find internships, even at a place that isn’t deemed a “Big N” company. Does this make me better than others? No. It does make me luckier though. I was lucky that I was dealt a magnificent hand and I was lucky that I played them correctly. If I was any less lucky, I would have received less offers or may very well be in the position I was in 2nd year.
As a result, I can assert with a little more certainty that in majority situations, results do not come from hard work. Hard work may increase the probability of results, but to directly relate hard work to results is an ignorant simplification to the bigger picture. There indeed are many more variables involved.
To base one’s meaning (or happiness) on results is significantly flawed, since many achievements are based on luck. Say you were passionate about acting. In the entertainment industry, it is notoriously difficult to break out. Out of all candidate actors, only 2% “make it”- and, to decrease the odds more, the 2% is of actors who have an agent representing them. Given this context, if you work, practise, take classes, attend castings, but never see anything transpire, does that take away from your passion in acting? If it does, then why are you aspiring to be an actor? Is it for the craft of acting or is it for the vanity metrics (money and fame) that we see plastered on billboards across the world?
If meaning is based on achievement, that would tether the meaning of many people’s lives into the sole occurrence of luck, regardless the amount of effort invested into the pursuit in the first place. It is simply irresponsible to believe in this thought; maybe then the correct question to ask is “what’s the point?”
Before I conclude the section on luck, it is important to recognize not all achievement is luck based. Some achievements are very skill based such as learning a new language or lifting weights. Under these contexts, it can makes more sense to base meaning from achievement; however, that does not protect against the feeling of the Hedonic Treadmill once achievement is reached.
Conclusion
To conclude this long winded writing, I assert that the cyclical nature of the Hedonic Treadmill should not end- that there is always a point due to the constant search for more meaning. I also explain my beliefs in why the Hedonic Treadmill is misrepresented due to the prolific usage of vanity metrics and the focus on achievements versus the process to obtain those achievements.