As the end of the year approaches, there are several things to take care of: planning holiday plans, finding inspiration for gifts to give, and watching the Spotify end of year wrapped highlights. Ever since the green circle logo-ed company became the single behemoth in the way consumers listen to music and podcasts (who uses Apple Music anyways? <Just kidding>), its end of year wrapped highlights stood as a prime opportunity to reflect on the listening journey of this year (and to inevitably share the results on social media).
When I tapped open the Spotify app and scrolled towards the end of year review, I saw something absolutely horrendous being shown in unforgiving black letters: 140,011. That is right. I listened to music for 140,011 minutes, or 97 straight days, which aptly put me to the top 0.5% of Spotify listeners in the world. While I always wanted to be among the best in the world at something, that something has unfortunately never been Spotify music listening…
At this point it is pretty established that I listen to music… a lot. It’s a habit now. Whenever I pursue a task which I deem even slightly monotonous, I find myself reaching for my drug of choice- a pair of white bluetooth pills to be placed within the ear canals and to flood the auditory senses with choreographed noise. Whether it be the morning walk to the office, the slow afternoon push for a new feature completion, or the effortful workout post work, my AirPods act serve as medicine for the lingering and reoccurring ailment of innate boredom, creating a barrier from the outside world’s distractions.
But always listening to music is not always positive. Like anything in world, music offers a tradeoff; entertainment is taken and silence is given. This may seen like a nonsensical trade- why not have endless amounts of entertainment in the form of music and podcasts for only the downside of silence, a nonexistent and boring quality anyways?
The question is not an easy valuation for the importance of silence should be carefully considered. It is not simply the placeholder when there is nothing else to listen to. In fact, in this modern noisy world, silence is much rarer than can ever be anticipated. With its scarcity and its close relationship with boredom, silence is often forgotten and its benefits overlooked.
In its purest form, silence is serene. There is a certain sense of beauty in silence’s nothingness. Like a still lake offering a delicate reflection that can be shattered by the simple ripple of a fallen stone, silence feebly supports an internal reflection for the mind to run wild, free from the hypnosis casted by the rhythmic soundscape of music. What thoughts are mulled? What dreams are dreamt? What happiness is expressed? It is akin to Stephen Pressfield’s description of the Muse who whispers creative ideas into the artist upon commitment to disciplined effort- the Muse arrives to inspire self awareness for a venture into our deep rooted thoughts.
How uncomfortable does silence feel? More uncomfortable than it should. Why is silence- one of the most harmless sounds in the human experience- so uncomfortable? I suppose it is the side effect of its sibling: boredom. There is never a shortage of distractions to numb the inner voice emanating from the square kept safe in our pockets. And while readily accessible entertainment is mostly a positive force for the many laughs, knowledge, and conversations inspired, in a way, these distractions feel like opioids to numb away life’s burdens and mishaps, further delaying the reflection needed for growth. The highs of entertainment’s stimuli always feel pleasant, but the lows associated with the uncertainties, the hardships, and the unfortunate circumstances of reality will always be waiting. The lows can never be avoided, no matter the amount of escapism.
And if the lows can never be avoided, they may just need to be full embraced.
In the safe, but uncomfortable blanket of silence, the freedom to engage with the full depths of emotion, a fundamental experience which makes our lives so colourful, so exciting, and so uniquely human, fills the surrounding nothingness. In this freedom, the mind wanders within habitual boundaries defined by the familiar competing perspectives of gratefulness and optimism or of contempt and victimhood- all subconscious framing of perceived reality chiseled into identity on a daily basis. Sometimes the Pandora’s box, no longer kept secure by the noise, the distractions, and the monotony of everyday life, arise.
Insecurity. Fear. Regret.
Hope.
Silence shall not be feared. It offers space for growth and a step towards being more comfortable with self~