On Social Media

Envy, Time, Meaning and Terrible Self Control

It’s 10:30pm. I’m made it onto my bed after a long day, finally snuggling under the sheets ready to go to sleep. In lieu of my wake up time for work tomorrow morning, I go through a mental checklist of everything I needed to get done. Bag packed? Check. Clothes laid out? Check. Schedule determined? Check. There is only one thing left to do before glorious sleep: set my alarm clock. And so, I reach to grab my phone off my black nightstand and comfortably nestle my phone in my palm- a comforting feeling. As I scroll to set my alarms, my autonomic habits kick in; the light emanating from my phone shifts from alarms to posts and stories. Just like that, I am no longer going to sleep.

I can’t be the only one to experience this right? That experience of mysteriously spending hours scrolling through social media when another task loomed in the background. And while I know this is clearly not a positive habit, I am always quite taken back of how easy it is to succumb to its temptation. 

Now before you close these thoughts, thinking “wow another tirade on the woes and negative consequences of social media,” I want to clearly outline this article’s purpose. It’s not about demonizing one of the most consequential and life changing technologies in my generation. It’s more about a reflection on my own personal habits. After several nights of sleeping later than I should be and waking up more tired as a result, I came to an honest conclusion: I have terrible self control. And in an effort to reign myself in, I write these thoughts not to convince you of the downsides of social media, but, more selfishly, to convince myself of the downsides of social media- a list of things to think about when I pick up my phone to scroll again.

Envy

Despite having used envy “productively” in pushing myself to work harder and longer, I can say with confidence that envy is dumb. It’s a devilish feeling, which pushes me to a state of melancholy and inspires moments of feeling inadequate. Why do I not have the things that other person has- the friends, the experiences, the objects? It’s as if a bit of my cherished personal sovereignty decays- the feeling of joy when purposely pursuing my “unglamorous” goals is replaced by the hollowness accompanying the realization that I lack what others seemingly have. I turn ungrateful of my own blessings- achievements, characteristics, and experiences- in favour of yearning for those of other’s. Envy leaves my mind frail, unprepared for the natural pushback from life’s missteps, chance occurrences, and challenges. My view on envy is perhaps most beautifully summarized by Charlie Munger: “Envy is a really stupid sin because it’s the only one you could never possibly have any fun at.”

Time

Whenever I wrap up scrolling through social media, the part I regret most is always time. Take my earlier scenario as an example. When picking up my phone in my warm bed, I somehow convince myself that time is less valuable than “catching up” with individuals I barely interact with on a monthly basis if at all (my feed is dominated by people I encountered once at a party) and scrolling past ads recommending me a new protein powder or a product in which the recommendation engine deems me a perfect fit for. I forget that the passing of time is non-negotiable and trade a slice of my life for something that is unfulfilling. In almost any case when I begin scrolling, there is a far better use of time without delving into the realm of toxic productivity. Instead of scrolling at night in my bed, I can simply sleep- a more effective way at resting my mind and my body (can anyone argue sleeping more equates to toxic productivity?). Because time is so limited, reasoning against social media for myself is quite simple: I cannot waste live living precariously through other people; I should look inward and find more meaning in my own life instead of looking at the projected meaning of others.

Meaning

Although I touched on meaning in my reasoning on envy and time, I thought to elaborate more on meaning in the purest sense. Though envy and wasted time reduce my personal meaning through respectively falsely conflating other’s experiences as my own desires and blocking opportunities to actually generate meaning in the first place, meaning itself is affected by social media through a criss-cross of intentions. Previously when I shared my life more regularly, intentions were confused: was I doing what I was doing- hitting a lifting pr, seeing an artist perform live, working for some job- for the purpose of showing other people or for the purpose of satiating my own intrinsic yearn for improvement? And while I reasoned my intentions were purely for my own satisfaction, why did I feel compelled to share my experience? If it was truly for my own satisfaction, then the additional utility of posting should be 0 right? If the additional utility of posting was truly 0, then I wouldn’t be posting, due to the overhead of ocurating an attractive post and the distractions from incoming notifications. When posting actively to social media, I wasn’t doing things because I was delighted, but because there was social currency to be gained. My motives were ingenuine, which further spiralled to poorer quality of action, less living in the present, and less satisfaction.

While I give these arguments as a plea to myself to stray away from social media, I do want to acknowledge a certain benefit that I find particular interesting. Aside from the stereotypical “connect with friends and family” and “catch up with pop culture” reasons for scrolling endlessly through an electronic brick, the most profound pro of social media, in my opinion, is its prospects as a new business medium. Growing up, it was instilled in me that grown-up work followed a typical pattern of characteristics: linear, repetitive, and defined. Take the example of working at a company as an engineer. The day to days are generally predictable, revolving around a set of defined responsibilities to react to. While varying situations may arise, the general story is similar. This stretches into a macro view of mostly linear progression as expertise is accumulated to warrant a larger role (and salary). On the other hand, social media breaks these conventional characteristics that extend beyond being an influencer. There are now much more avenues of business, which can see sporadic and exponential growth or imminent failure. Starting businesses like supplement brands, clothings lines, or drop shipping seemingly obscure products become so much more accessible and valid career paths to pursue. 

This requires a re-wiring of my perspective on social media: instead of being a consumer, I will need to be a producer. The wielder of the weapon instead of a casualty from its usage. And while I may understand (or at least think that I understand maybe just a little of these dynamics), my mind has not mitigated envy, wasted time, and external validation enough to enjoy absolute personal sovereignty and be a producer of social media.

Just like that, I propose to myself to stay of social media~