Recently I went to my first concert in a while for someone that I actively listened to. It has to be at least 2-3 years by now and it reminded me about how much I enjoyed live shows (like anyone else lol). After shaking off some rust in getting concert tickets and withering under the anxiety of being in the Ticketmaster queue, I was happy I made the commitment.
When I pulled up to the venue two hours before the main set, there was already a crowd gathering at the front of GA… and unfortunately there were many tall ones in the crowd of gatherers. While I still had the opportunity to shimmy somewhere else, I accepted the fate of my calves; the concert was going to be entirely experienced on my tippy toes.
After an hour of building anticipation, the show opened with Montell Fish, who was actually a pretty good opener. He combined the energy of down badness and angst with high pitched vocals and rock, which was personally very unexpected after he came out with an oversized Belanciaga hoodie and thick headphones. Though I didn’t know him, he was definitely a vibe and even had a song that I actually unknowingly had in my playlists, which was a pleasant surprise. Though he had great energy, he was merely the appetizer for me…
The main reason I was there was to see Daniel Caesar.
With Montell’s set coming to a close, the crowd began boiling in anticipation for the main performance of the evening. And after another 30 minutes of waiting, it began.
The lights dimmed and the background screen lit up. It was a video of him, live at his tour bus in the venue’s parking lot, praying with his team. And as he started making his way through the venue’s backstage maze, we stirred, building up to the eruption upon his entrance. We screamed, we bunched up even closer, and our arms shot up with recording smart phones in hand. This was it. Just like that, Daniel Caesar began singing.
To say I was over joyed while watching him on my tippy toes was by far an understatement. I was ecstatic. I was euphoric. I was enraptured. I was <insert whatever other thesaurus found synonym for excitement>. I loved hearing him sing live- his raw voice was honest to his songs - and I loved singing my own personal off key rendition of his performance, a compilation of notes and soundscapes wired in my brain through hours of repetitive listens during work, relaxation, and contemplation.
But beyond the happiness of vibing out to his songs and feeding off the energy in the crowd, there were two other feelings: awe and envy.
When watching him, I had the feeling of awe. Although this could be very easily attributed to his celebrity status, I had previously seen several celebrities in common spaces and came quickly to the realization that no matter how admired and famous a celebrity is, in the end, that celebrity is just a human like myself and everyone else in the world. That person experiences happiness, sadness, joy, and pain just like anyone else does. Despite his celebrity status not being the source of my awe, perhaps it is an auxiliary consequence of the source of my awe: his greatness.
It is almost inarguable that he has some degree of greatness, the magnitude of which is based on personal opinion. He definitely has a great voice and he is undoubtedly popular among a respectable amount of people. Watching him dance on stage under the white lights and sing above the supporting strings and piano, I believe it is this greatness that shines through during his performance and inflicts awe that another “average” person may not inflict.
The energy from his greatness was harnessed rom the perfect alignment of raw talent, passion, work ethic, and an amazing dose of luck. With the simultaneous combination of these four factors, Daniel Caesar merely exposed his greatness to me and everyone watching by performing. If any one of the factors was not present, I would not be awed much less even come to his concert- who knows if he could have climbed out of the sea of hundreds if not thousands of artists all vying to showcase their art.
Without talent, one can be great, but one cannot be at top percentile- one can be great at basketball, but if he is not at least 6”2’, he will not survive in the NBA. Without passion, one will most likely find increasing difficulty in maintaining discipline and perhaps stop pursuing her talents and gifts altogether. She may also lose meaning and joy in the progress. Without discipline, one will be outworked by others who are disciplined and also similarly talented, passionate, and lucky. Worst of all, he may taste success, only for it to unravel in failed work ethic. Finally, without luck, one may not ever make it- she will not get discovered by the label needed to make it to the big stage, she will not get into that prestigious university or program, she will not find a success in a gamble of the form of an invention, a business, nor a book. One needs all 4 puzzle pieces for what society perceives as greatness; if Daniel didn’t have any of the four, it is likely that I would have never known of his existence- I wouldn’t even have the opportunity to experience awe.
And while these four pieces come together to inspire awe, they also come together to grow envy. In this case, I envied Daniel Caesar’s ability in aligning all four pieces: he not only consistently pursued something he loved and was talented in, but he also achieved a very respectable level of success in his endeavours. It is important to note that I don’t specifically envy his career in music or any achievements such as winning a Grammy, selling out shows while touring, or breaking platinum status with album sales. I envy his greatness and, by assumption, the significant meaning he finds in life by pursuing something he loves, is good at, and sees exponential progress in. Along with this significant meaning in life comes further flexibility for varying interests and meeting similarly great people.
Despite awe and envy seemingly being two conflicting emotions, they blended together to project a feeling of inspiration over the course of his performance. After the concert, I was inspired to find what I was passionate in. I was inspired to figure out my talents. I was inspired to work hard at those things. And while I cannot influence luck, I was inspired to see where luck, in all its varying forms, took me.
In some seemingly odd way, watching a person simply sing about love- something so common in today’s music- inspired me to seek greatness in my own accord and ultimately aspire to live a more meaningful existence~