Weddings
Phenomena of Growing Older
Alongside burgeoning independence and ability, disinterest in getting shitfaced every Friday, and increasingly uttering “back in my day”, attending weddings has been an unexpected rite of passage for adulthood.
Despite giving no thought to weddings only a couple years prior, I just attended my 2nd wedding and will probably be going to more every year now.
A big milestone in life, a wedding is such a gift to attend.
Aside from being an excuse to travel, dress up, and socialize, I see attending a wedding as having the privilege to witness two people’s lives intertwine in a day that will forever be cherished in memories and picture frames.
It’s especially surreal attending the weddings of friends I have known for so long.
Taken aback in this mental time machine, I think back to what felt like eons ago when I first met my friend getting married, usually at a time when we young, dumb, and knew nothing of the world.
With some story of the couple from my own experience, meeting the couple’s other friends is like sharing notes.
Each of the guests have a piece of the couple’s story. Only by sharing does the full tapestry of their lives spill out—how they came to stand as a couple before us today.
The trite question of “how do you know the bride or groom?” immediately projects a snapshot of the wedding couples’ lives at a given time.
Childhood friends speak on the formative years growing up on the same block in a hometown.
High school classmates speak on the shared absurdity of being a teenager and the pure optimistic dreams that sprawl from ignorance.
University classmates speak on the fast paced chaotic mess induced by caffeine, alcohol, exams, spring break trips, relationships, and internships.
Work friends speak on the professionalism (or happy unprofessionalism) that comes with becoming an adult and starting in the workforce.
Beyond talking to the friends, it’s beautiful seeing the families.
Like me putting the pieces to the couple’s story, the parents light up in joy, meeting their child’s friends, who’s names they heard for so long, for the first time.
At this point in time, they are also brought into their child’s story, one that wasn’t completely privy to them as their kid moved out and become their own person.
On the flip side, I find it pretty rare to interact at all with a friend’s family. Similar to the parents, I hear mentions, but never actually meet them in person.
Like clockwork, I immediately get misty eyed when the parents give speeches during the wedding reception.
In this moment, I see the parents’ gleaming pride in their child and the profound hope and sacred responsibility they now entrust to their new family member.
The bride and groom now take on the responsibility to love one another with the same tenderness, devotion, and care that their parents have shown them since the day they were born.
As the wedding continues and the families celebrate over food and champaign, their cultures blend and their destinies become inextricably linked—the wedding is the first among many more joys the two families share together.
Turning inwards, I leave weddings with renewed optimism.
I’m reminded that regardless of the individualistic pursuits I take in my own life, the greatest joy rest in the people I get to celebrate it with.
These people each carry a story of my life and cheer me on across my milestones.